Jannah. InsyaAllah.

2009-10-30T06:04:00.000-07:00

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ive officially changed my domain to wordpress stead of blogspot. it's like i needed to breathe in a different kind of air. so, this marks the end of here and now. salam to all.

2009-10-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

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2009-10-09T04:55:00.001-07:00

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“…"There has to be a quid pro quo, you have to see a significant advance on the finance. Otherwise, what's the point?" de Boer said...Unless we see an advance on ambitious industrialised country targets and significant finance on the table, it is very difficult for negotiators in this process to continue their work in good faith."…” – al-j a z e e r a news online

Money makes the world go round – they say. “They” in my perception are those humans who have a dollar sign etched to both eyes like some unglamorous, outdated ray-ban shades. They’ve allowed themselves to be trapped in the cycle of money, money and money, as though, it were their religion. Behold, the material world. Where did they put their hearts at? When the world is increasingly facing dramatic and terrifying climatic effects of global warming, partly thanks to the humans who only proceed if they find it beneficial to the economy regardless of possibilities that it may bring harm to the environment - what were they thinking? It’s best for the human race? What’s their definition for “best”? And why do we allow them to assume what's best for us? Where did they put their hearts & mind at? The excessive love for money just makes another, a destroyed & empty soul. So melodramatic, but its just frustrating to see humans with money and authority who don’t have a clue on how to use it right for themselves and others.

2009-10-08T05:37:00.000-07:00

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my ancient computer is crawling. 3 trojans plus other minor but many bugs in my com. and i can't remove them. so its a matter of time before the beat goes off. guess i'll have to plan before the next SITEX @expo 26 to 29 nov. perhaps just a super cpu with extra extra extra RAMS & coolers to boost the speed & cool it off fast.

my blog entries are getting pathetic. it's like a body with no soul. perhaps i'll just close it down one day.

2009-10-03T04:15:00.000-07:00

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she's at her lowest.
and listening to air supply.
in wholesome solitude.
with the enchanting night creeping in.
she just needs to do something.
to rejuvenate, recharge and replay

so what's it gonna be.

2009-09-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

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The feeling has started to sink in deep. It's this sayu feeling. oh how time flies. Ramadhan. The eyes of my heart is starting to see to some matters that i find it difficult to understand and visualize just with the mind. it's like a penghayatan kehidupan that has made an impact on me. To trigger matters in your head that you sometimes tend to ignore or simply treat it as nothing. Perhaps the connection wires has finally made a contact. Between the mind and the heart. I've got alot to improve in many areas. And it starts this second till the end. Inshallah.

2009-09-16T05:19:00.000-07:00

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beautifully arranged piece on a 7-stringed. sentimental, peaceful.
p e r - o lov k i n d gren

it's about usd$5 for the score sheet on his webby. how to apply for paypal?

2009-09-14T17:29:00.000-07:00

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2009-09-12T06:38:00.000-07:00

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Had iftar somewhere in changi rd just now with my family, and it was quite a drama. Well, at least i think we get to learn something from such experiences.

"Whatever has befallen you was not meant to escape you, and whatever has escaped you was not meant to befall you: If this belief were to be firmly ingrained in your heart, then all hardship and difficulty would become ease and comfort.

The Prophet (bpuh) said:
"Whoever Allah wishes good for, He inflicts him (with hardship)."

For those that are afflicted with disaster, glad tidings await them: so remain patient and happy with your lord.

"He cannot be questioned as to what He does, while they will be questioned." Quran 21:23"

- 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni, La Tahzan(Don't Be Sad)

2009-09-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

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Apa gunanya janji jikalau memungkirinya.
Adakah kerana ianya hanya perlafazan
Yang bisa dicoret mengikut citarasa.
Hanya sesuatu perjanjian lemah
Yang bisa diretakkan dengan seungkap suara
Dimana letaknya janjimu
Dimana letaknya ketulenan mu
Inikah yang dikatakan lumrah keduniaan
Tak sanggup ku mendengarnya lagi.
Ianya tidak asing lagi

Alhamdulilah. Tomorrow will be the last working day (except sat) till raya. Wee. The long awaited leave. I just wanna drown myself in solitude and peace. No anger. No anxiety. No stress. No fatigue. No beep. Just =_=

2009-09-06T01:31:00.000-07:00

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"When you wake up in the morning, do not expect to see the evening - live as though today is all that you have. Yesterday has passed with its good and evil, while tomorrow has not yet arrived." - 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni, La Tahzan(Don't Be Sad)

It's a beautiful sunday.

And i was totally awoken by a giant brown cockroach that was on my baju while i was in the toilet, partially blind(wasnt using my specs)

2009-09-05T06:06:00.000-07:00

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feels really frustrating & disappointing.

just don't make empty promises that sounds so nice - ever.

it's yuck.

2009-09-03T05:48:00.000-07:00

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everyday i wake up and it's sunday.

im covering icu wards this whole week till saturday. Which means top ups for all wards in the morning and standby for any med orders in the afternoon. In short, alhamdulilah, less taxing compared to my home satellite, which handles general wards in the main blgd - more chaotic, more human traffic. My right shoulder is acting up again. Must have been my bad posture and lifting heavy stuff. Mashallah & subhanallah. The miracles that can happen when a person is thought to be at the verge of death. And the wonders of diseases and the syiffa. With every disease that Allah has sent down to mankind, there IS a cure, and we are triggered to find it. A new disease or mutated kind is like a catalytic reaction for the R&Ds, a race to find a cure for the survival of mankind. There are the secrets that man are not revealed to, even if they are made of the best brains and bodies, uncovering the enigma of syiffa. The answer isn't always that. A = B? Not necessarily. It can be a (B + k) or wotevar. And it doesnt stay that way over time. And i agree upon what teacher once said, that all these wabaks, like H 1 N 1, S A Rs are brought down, partly so as to make us think & dive into the realms of knowledge. Think! Muhammad pbuh is first commanded: Iqra!. - Read. I've came to my senses of how freakingly important it is to expand knowledge, especially knowledge that can bring benefit for yourself and others.

"...Say: "Are those who know equal to those who know not?" It is only men of understanding who will remember (i.e. get a lesson from Allâh's Signs and Verses)." Az-Zumar:9

2009-08-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

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adakah ku bermimpi...

....mimpi di siang hari?

2009-08-28T05:50:00.001-07:00

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20 more days.
and counting.
to the most.
anticipated.
leaveeee!!!

i really need this long separation from work, aside from getting rejuvenated from fatigue, got other things on hand i wanna accomplish, inshallah. Came across this while i was google-ing, tho ive came across this before. It still left me amused.

Suatu hari Imam Al-Ghazali berkumpul dengan murid-muridnya dan kemudian beliau memberikan pertanyaan teka-teki…

Imam Ghazali : “Apakah yang paling dekat dengan diri kita di dunia ini?”

Murid 1 : Orang tua
Murid 2 : Guru
Murid 3 : Teman
Imam Ghazali : Semua jawaban itu benar. Tetapi yang paling dekat dengan kita ialah MATI.

Sebab itu adalah janji Allah SWT
"bahwa setiap yang berjiwa pasti akan merasakan mati "(Surah Ali-Imran : 185).

Imam Ghazali : “Apa yang paling jauh dari kita di dunia ini?”

Murid 1 : Negeri Cina
Murid 2 : Bulan
Murid 3 : Matahari
Iman Ghazali : Semua jawaban itu benar. Tetapi yang paling benar adalah MASA LALU.

Bagaimanapun kita, apapun kendaraan kita, tetap kita tidak akan dapat kembali ke masa yang lalu. Oleh sebab itu kita harus menjaga hari ini, hari esok dan hari-hari yang akan datang dengan perbuatan yang sesuai dengan ajaran Agama.

Imam Ghazali : “Apa yang paling besar di dunia ini?”
Murid 1 : Gunung
Murid 2 : Matahari
Murid 3 : Bumi
Imam Ghazali : Semua jawaban itu benar, tapi yang besar sekali adalah HAWA NAFSU

(Surah Al A’raf : 179).
“Dan sesungguhnya Kami jadikan untuk (isi neraka Jahanam) kebanyakan dari jin dan manusia, mereka mempunyai hati, tetapi tidak dipergunakannya untuk memahami (ayat-ayat Allah SWT) dan mereka mempunyai mata (tetapi) tidak dipergunakannya untuk melihat (tanda-tanda kekuasaan Allah SWT), dan mereka mempunyai telinga (tetapi) tidak dipergunakannya untuk mendengar (ayat-ayat Allah SWT). Mereka itu sebagai binatang ternak, bahkan mereka lebih sesat lagi. Mereka itulah orang-orang yang lalai”.

Imam Ghazali : “Apa yang paling berat di dunia?”
Murid 1 : Baja
Murid 2 : Besi
Murid 3 : Gajah
Imam Ghazali : Semua itu benar, tapi yang paling berat adalah MEMEGANG AMANAH

(Surah Al-Azab : 72).
“Sesungguhnya Kami telah mengemukakan amanat kepada langit, bumi dan gunung-gunung, maka semuanya enggan untuk memikul amanat itu dan mereka khawatir akan mengkhianatinya, dan dipikullah amanat itu oleh manusia. Sesungguhnya manusia itu amat zalim dan amat bodoh”.

Imam Ghazali : “Apa yang paling ringan di dunia ini?”
Murid 1 : Kapas
Murid 2 : Angin
Murid 3 : Debu
Imam Ghazali : Semua jawaban kamu itu benar, tapi yang paling ringan sekali di dunia ini adalah MENINGGALKAN SHOLAT.

Gara-gara pekerjaan kita atau urusan dunia, kita tinggalkan sholat?

Imam Ghazali : “Apa yang paling tajam sekali di dunia ini?”
Murid-murid dengan serentak menjawab : Pedang
Imam Ghazali : Itu benar, tapi yang paling tajam sekali didunia ini adalah LIDAH MANUSIA.

Karena melalui lidah, manusia dengan mudahnya menyakiti hati dan melukai perasaan saudaranya sendiri.

Ibnu Abbas ra. pernah berkata kepada lidahnya sendiri,
“Wahai lidah, katakanlah yang baik niscaya engkau akan meraih kebaikan. Atau diamlah, niscaya engkau akan selamat. Semoga Allah merahmati seorang muslim yang menahan lidahnya dari kehinaan, mengikatnya dari gosip, mencegahnya dari ucapan sia-sia, dan menahannya dari kata-kata yang diharamkan"

2009-08-22T23:19:00.000-07:00

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This clip made me take a step back, and rethink on my life. How much longer do i have. Am i ready. Is my solat accepted all these while. What have i prepared when my time has come ... ... ... Death doesn't wait for anyone. Regretting after is totally useless. We can never reverse the irreversible. So why not we start now. The time is now. A reminder for myself, and perhaps for others.

2009-08-22T22:42:00.000-07:00

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Realistically funny.

2009-08-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

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the best time for the purification of the heart, detox as per intan, instilling and increasing our iman & taqwa to Allah swt. May we benefit from this blessed Ramadhan, inshallah.

have a few things in my mind. hope to accomplish them this ramadhan inshallah.

2009-08-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

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Ibnu Sina or also known as Avicenna in the West - the father of modern medicine.

Was reading about one of his books, Al-Qanun fi al-Tibb "The Law of Medicine", or The Canon of Medicine, or Qanun in wiki and i came across this:

"...In clinical psychology and psychotherapy, Avicenna often used psychological methods to treat his patients.

One such case study is when a prince of Persia had melancholia and suffered from the delusion that he is a cow, and who would low like a cow crying "Kill me so that a good stew may be made of my flesh" and would never eat anything. Avicenna was persuaded to the case and sent a message to the patient, asking him to be happy as the butcher was coming to slaughter him, and the sick man rejoiced. When Avicenna approached the prince with a knife in his hand, he asked "where is the cow so I may kill it." The patient then lowed like a cow to indicate where he was. "By order of the butcher, the patient was also laid on the ground for slaughter." When Avicenna approached the patient pretending to slaughter him, he said, "the cow is too lean and not ready to be killed. He must be fed properly and I will kill it when it becomes healthy and fat." The patient was then offered food which he ate eagerly and gradually "gained strength, got rid of his delusion, and was completely cured."

Among the many other psychological disorders described in the Qanun, one is of unusual interest: love sickness. Ibn Sina is reputed to have diagnosed this condition in a Prince in Jurjan who lay sick and whose malady had baffled local doctors. He noted a fluttering in the Prince's pulse when the address and name of his beloved were mentioned. The great doctor had a simple remedy: unite the sufferer with the beloved..."

Mashallah. Such a brilliant Muslim scholar with vast knowledge in different fields. I find him and his works inspirational especially in his field of medicine. If i have the chance, I would wanna get a copy of the Qanun.

2009-08-15T03:58:00.000-07:00

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...am I standing still?
Beneath the darkened sky
...am I standing still?
With the scenery flying by
Or am I standing still?
Out of the corner of my eye
Was that you that passed me by?

I've realised that what i thought was my goals, has not been reached. To a point in time, I find myself walking pointlessly towards something uncertain. And then, I would just stop. Yes, life indeed is uncertain and it can be disheartening, demoralising... It's like a new book you really want to get lost into, but it's sitting in the highest shelf, and the hassle of getting the book, turns you off. Perhaps i've yet to build a foundation, to support the structure which will turn out as the most beautiful thing you've ever dreamed of. Or perhaps, all i need is just the semangat yang kental. I have indeed been standing still where i am. Stationary and immobilised by my own thoughts and perceptions of life. Time to take a confident step ahead. It's a jihad(struggle).

2009-08-13T07:18:00.000-07:00

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So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

2009-08-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

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Was randomly browsing through blink 182's music in you tube. and i suddenly feel like plugging in my ibanez again. then again, better not.

down
down
down
down

2009-08-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

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Time to change my specs. Like literally. Due to the incident, my specs is a lil out of shape and it's irritating to keep adjusting it at your nose bridge and ear loop. It's been too long too holding on to this spec. One of my favourites, aside from a nerdy black one i had back in sec sch. And i still keep it. But was dismantled when i was playing netball. Gagah perkasa!! Just waiting for a time to go and pick the right one. I am actually quite fussy when choosing specs coz to me, it's gonna be part of your worldview except when you sleep! Hope i can find one that will have chemistry with my eyes. Hah. Ape aku bbual.

Yay Ramadhan around the corner.

And i smell a long holiday.

2009-08-06T05:52:00.000-07:00

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I think there's something weird with my blogger interface now cuz i can't see the panel of icons where u can change the text color, upload pics et cetera. So this is gonna be another monochrome entry as before.

I have a benjol over my right eye. Cuz i did somethg stupid at work today. And my specs is senget. But, it was hilarious when i was replaying THE MOMENT in my head over and over. I've gotta loosen up abit. Been too straight and hard these days. Maybe thats why i got myself hurt. Serves me right.

Had a durian party on sun afternn. Yeh it was supposed to be kecoh with all the kakis but only nad and me cud make it, so we went ahead. Durians & some chocs, but we didnt get fever on the monday & didnt have to drink the badak water if we have seen a doc on that mon. Yeh it was part of the plan. I felt super energetic instead. Hah. An hour before 7pm, headed to changi beach to the last carpark (the area with alot of pine trees?) to go for a short stroll.

Need more of nature activities this weekend. And alot of reading up to do too.

2009-07-26T01:21:00.000-07:00

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It's really been sometime since I last blogged.

How does it really feel to have a pure heart, to not have the slightest bit of negativities, and always saturated with downright goodness and sincerity. That's something to achieve.

Under pressurising situations, can you keep a calm face, tone and aura such that the fizzy scene neutralises to a straight line? That's something to achieve.

How does it feel to fully utilize both the hemispheres of the brain. That's something to achieve.

I've got lots of things to read on hand. But i find myself cruising slowly. Gotta push that pedal to feel the rush.

2009-07-15T04:58:00.000-07:00

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Ain't sure if you've received a particular sms that has been circulation around this week.
I got this one at 10.30pm last night. Nasib baik i was sleeping, so i couldnt register what the sms was saying until i read it the next morning.

It says:

Bilang keluarga mu semua, kalau ada seorang nenek tua menjual keropok2 atau kuih2 mengetok pintu rumuh mu, jangan bukak pintu.. Kerana nenek itu mengendong kak pon dengannya.. Beliau akan menghasut kita memakai kak pon itu untuk membeli keropoknya.. Jikalau kita tidak beli, kak pon nya akan masuk rumah kita... Keropok beliau tidak sedap, dan juga bau busuk.. Tgok lobang pintu sblom bukak.. Nenek itu sudah conqour woodlands dan skarang daerah tampines

And i dunno if i should laugh or be freaked out.

Maybe im freaked out abit.

But, I have to remind myself, that whatever happens, its by the will of Allah s.w.t. And if this really is happening, mesti ader pendindingnyer...zikrullah..rajin baca quran..hafal surah2 pendinding...as what my dear fren hajar reminded me.

So i should stop scaring myself.

And be a brave girl.

2009-07-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

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this is such a happy-go-smiley tune.

feels good to be home. i missed being homey all of the sudden. heh.

2009-07-04T08:55:00.000-07:00

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an intensifying day.

oh what a day.

the shoulders' crying in pain.

and the heart.

reaching out in vain

for a friend whose been out;

come back again.

do come back again.

had ginger tea. and ginger f&n. and it's 12:15am. and im still not asleep. and this makes no sense. and it has no links. and im being pointless. and do you get what im trying to say now. peace.

2009-06-29T07:14:00.001-07:00

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nice indon song. sounds like the lead singer of SO7.

2009-06-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

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i'm buntu.
confused.
doubtful.
there but not there.

Oh Allah, show me. Show me the signs. For this.

i feel empty despite what is laid out for me.
It's like a story rendered in monochrome.

where's the colours at.

2009-06-27T04:15:00.000-07:00

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I'd never thought it would feel this difficult. What's in for me for this dunya? The place of mortals and constant struggles. The "low valued" in the short term, but converted to high value if used to collect your amalans for the next of life. This is my struggle. My jihad. And it doesn't include guns and mindless killings.

2009-06-20T04:34:00.000-07:00

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the days.

2009-06-15T04:21:00.000-07:00

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Just had my appraisal today, and, alhamdulilah graded a B. Actually, i can't be bothered much. I mean, who are you to appraise me? Or who are we to appraise someone? You can only see me on the surface but you'll never know what goes under. So what we're actually doing is perceive. Only Allah is the rightful appraiser! And only He knows what i've been doing for the past 1 year plus working there. okay why do i feel so worked up now. chill gerrl.

i found myself reading through my past blog enteries. And freshly dug out, this, is for you. You know who you are.

Life is about experiences, which makes us grow
According to time and situations, it flows

Sometimes everything seems clear and perfect
Sometimes its all haze
Maybe life is a maze
Every time, it leaves us amaze

Not everyone in life, gets everything
Sometimes, we lose by gaining, and gain even by losing
Why cry for losing something, which we never owned
Life doesn't stop by accident
Else, the world wound have ended

Even in whole life, for someone, you changed your ways
At the end of the day, with you, only your shadow stays
The world may seem beautiful, and people influenced by charm
But, in times of need, it's our own hand, at the end of our arm

Love and relationships are like sand
Which we try to hold in our hand
The more we want them to stay
The more they just slip away

Let no one and nothing control you
Come what may
Let you, only your faith in Allah's way

Things that are just part of life
Must be kept that way

If we make them life by mistake
Heart, is bound to break

Today may seem faint and dull
Compared to a beautiful past
But tommorrow, will bring beautiful moments to last

Why look for a shoulder to cry on
And support from someone
One moment people are around
next moment all is gone
Fact is, He is the strongest in life, who stands on his own
all alone

Whenever in life things may slip out of your hands
Give it to Allah's hands
Since everything is safe in His hands

After every sunset of hurts and despair
There's a new sunrise of hope and prayer
It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow
And like a spring, life always flows

Even after a bright day ends
Still in the night sky
The moon glows

peace and love sister.

2009-06-14T06:21:00.000-07:00

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nice.

2009-06-14T00:11:00.000-07:00

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Time, Al-Asr

http://www.quranexplorer.com/Quran/Sura=5&FromVerse=1&ToVerse=120&Reciter=Mishari-Rashid&Translation=Malaysian&Zoom=5.2&TajweedRules=0

A short chapter, but perhaps one of the most crucial element in this illusion world. I think that how a person manages their time reflects a lot on their character and endurance.

If only I had fully utilized the time I had to do something more beneficial, to be someone better, to initiate changes that is waiting to be evolved; wouldn’t that be great. I would have felt more accomplished knowing that I didn’t waste the seconds away. And allow my yesterdays to wallow deeper in the century. The best of time is here, and now.

I found a hadith in the current book im reading:

"The two feet of the son of Adam will not move on the Day of Judgement in front of his Lord until he is asked about five matters: About his life and how he exhausts it? About his youth, what did he consume in it? About his wealth, how did he earn it? And what did he spend it on? And how much did he act upon what he knew" Narrated by At-Tirmidhi, no 2416:Albani: Sahih)

for me to ponder upon and be reminded.

2009-05-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

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i don't understand why some people can't be true to themselves and others. Just cut the crap and save the over emo-drama. It's tiring to figure out the story. And my ears are 'swelling' hearing the tales.

i just bought my first natural soap bar. okay rewind. since when did i get interested in the beauty products? ahh. the mystery. ;) thanks. and i picked the most morbid looking bar. blackish-grey with black grains in it. and when i went home, then i started to question why in the world would i need that bar, coz i cud have chosen a bar with a different set of motives for the body. i took out an old blunt knife, and carefully sliced it in half. and theres this really nice minty smell that just hit u. and a sort of black-hole colour cool swirl, in the core of the soap. and my sister who stepped in the kitchen thot that the piece of chunk is a metal bar. i must have used a pure diamond knife to cut it through.

2009-05-23T03:50:00.000-07:00

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It's like we're going through the motions,

Of a scripted destiny.

Tell me where's our inspiration,

If life wont wait,

I guess it's up to me.

i forgot how much i used to love sp - simple plan. zaman dulu, all those coca cola pop rocks and punks.

i just ran with my youngest sis, emphasis - running. not jogging. she practically dashed off running, not jogging. and im so pancet tho its only pathetically 15min. heh. need to build up stamina to embrace the upcoming schedule ahead.

looking forward to meet up with the lovely people in time to come inshallah.

woah ohh.

2009-05-21T06:42:00.000-07:00

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i say we press on the gas pedal.

2009-05-08T05:44:00.000-07:00

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The musollah @the hospital is finally getting a new face - alhamdulilah. nice clean floors, proper ventilation, bright happy colours on the walls and a mini wuduk area. Back then the room was used as a temporary holding area for mayats. Interesting. You should visit the room when you're there.

I was in a dilemma when i just started work this morning. Got a call from one of the phar ma cists offering me somethingss. And i had to give her an answer on that day itself. Actually had structured it in my mind if i ever get this offer, to reject it. And i dotzzzz. I really hope my decision is not based on spontaneous reaction and influence from my collegues, but a solid ground to what i have analysed for tomorrow.

We live in a world of perceptions. We perceive things as it is. No one can see, feel, smell, taste, hear things like you do. What is perceived is dependant on the perceiver. And the perceiver can only perceive perceptions that is within our reach. If we were without our five senses, or entirely cut off from one of the five sense, we would never be able to perceive things as it is. Ponder.

i wanna go ubin uh.

2009-04-21T05:02:00.000-07:00

random graphics. currently posted to the cabin for a 2 mth rotation(or more...) before the switch back to the satellite. honestly, i appreciate the peace, pace and culture @cabin than the satellite. and the jobscope is a 180* different, coz it's mostly production, qa & qc, technical troubleshooting and setting up the tech gadgets for the wards. easy to say, no direct contact with...people? maybe there's just somethg wrong in me. i prefer working with machines than with people. call me weird, because i know i am. missed and am missing my gerlfriends. i can't stand the smell of IPA and how it cunningly seeps thru my latex gloves drying and freezing my fingers. a common scenario when u have to clean the machine parts everyday with IPA. back shoulder muscles and neck crying. looking forward to june for takeoff. backpacking. wanna hop in? seriously. gerls only

2009-04-12T15:55:00.000-07:00

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salam. okey i've got exactly 15 min to blog my heart out before i head to work. so lately, ive been bz s.meyer-ing the third book, watching movies at movie6, catching up with old friends, daydreaming, online window shopping, doing mindless quizzes @facebk, procrastinating a line of things like cleaning my jungle closet, familiarising and practicing on how to be the next mclaren, reading other reading materials, etc ~ sounds like im really slacking around and wasting time these days. i've gotta help myself get out of this cycle. really. the wave of guilt has gotten to me now.

2009-04-04T03:37:00.000-07:00

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I recently deleted my mcfree virus software because it became somewhat unreliable to protect my desktop from the malignant viruses. I suspected there are viruses hiding in my desktop because it’s super crawling slow. Downloaded the AviraAntiVir (free version) and did a complete scan of my desktop. Lasted 58mins, and detected more than 20 trojans, and a number of worms and other viruses! AMAZING. I wasn’t content yet, so I did a scan twice, and also on my thumbdrives. True enough, viruses swimming freely in there too. Soon to scan will be my portable HDD. Wouldn’t want my pc to crash before I could even give a try to save it.

Will be on standby for SOS tmr, yes, a Sunday.
My Sunday.
My one and only rest day.
Hope not to get any calls. I need a break. I feel like a zombie. Aimless, empty and robot. I’m thinking of ways to rejuvenate myself and bring back the me in me. Cause, sometimes, you forget who you are and what you’re becoming. And that scares me. Ya Allah, show me the right path.

2009-04-02T04:36:00.000-07:00

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I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

2009-03-18T05:47:00.000-07:00

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" 'Cos you give me something
That makes me scared, alright
this could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try..."

looking forward for the adventure of a lifetime. ;)
thanks, to my dearrrest fren. you know who you are.

ive got a MIMS book(or "dictionary of drugs") that im trying in vain to read. Its right in front of me now, beside my s.meyer book 2 novel. But being me, i'll choose the novel. It is, interesting to know the "mechanics" of an array of drugs. I'll be like...wau...kewl...incredible. But if im a position where i have to eat the drug, i'll choose not to. I am, indeed, a hypocrite(coz i work in a pharmacy, but i x-out eating em). My perception: I do not trust the "wonders" of a drug coz in actual fact it is a drug. If you get what I mean. Perhaps the best syiffa is just :

Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah:
I heard the Prophet saying, "If there is any healing in your medicines, then it is in cupping, a gulp of honey or branding with fire (cauterization) that suits the ailment, but I don't like to be (cauterized) branded with fire."
-Bukhari :: Book 7 :: Volume 71 :: Hadith 587

Narrated Khalid bin Sad:
We went out and Ghalib bin Abjar was accompanying us. He fell ill on the way and when we arrived at Medina he was still sick. Ibn Abi 'Atiq came to visit him and said to us, "Treat him with black cumin. Take five or seven seeds and crush them (mix the powder with oil) and drop the resulting mixture into both nostrils, for 'Aisha has narrated to me that she heard the Prophet saying, 'This black cumin is healing for all diseases except As-Sam.' Aisha said, 'What is As-Sam?' He said, 'Death."
-Bukhari :: Book 7 :: Volume 71 :: Hadith 591

2009-03-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

Ult li albi bissaraha (Aku membuka hatiku dengan kejujuran)

Hayya nab'idil karaha (Hindarilah kebencian dan dendam)

Syakkireena a' kulli na'ma (Marilah kekalkan syukur dgn apa yg kita ada)

Ba' ideena anil fattana (Hindarilah segala penipuan dan dosa²)

"Ku mengerti siapa ku tanpamu disisi dan apa guna posesi juga posisi

Sementara ini cuma hanya puisi,

nukilan tulisan dan bisikan isi hati

Mencari keterangan, menjiwai peranan menepati pesanan janji juga saranan

Alhamdulillah atas kurniaan rezeki, moga tidak terleka dalam perjalanan ini"

2009-02-17T04:26:00.000-08:00

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There's a whole lot of things i would wanna accomplish but its not even started solid-ly. Where's my discipline?

There's something new i'm gonna try this week.

To shun any sort of music while travelling. (This way I can read books deeply, think deeply - and sleep deeply? Heh. )

To smile at any problems/problemakers and instill KESABARAN. Solve the problem, not the person (love all, trust a few, hate none?)

Read more books.

2009-02-15T02:19:00.000-08:00

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Just got to know from aishah that pastamania is now halal!! Alhamdulilah. More food to choose from. Its good that theres one outlet in TM. I've been having this crave for d24 durians. Hope the season is in with the dry and hot weather here. And also dreaming for canadian pizza. Altho i can't eat much due to my lactose intolerance.

The reinvention of valentines' day in the tamadun world. funny how some manusias actually follow the "tradition" or "practice" claiming that its a day to express love for the loved. or do they really think it is. read the history!

why have just a day for the special occasion when you can actually have it everyday. and anyways. it's not meant for us, baik yang dah kahwin atau belum jejak pun to sebok2 celebrate it without even having a clue of the history behind it.

I'm suprised that im beginning to love history. The thirst to backwind the hand clock to the black and white days. The time where i'll be in a trance imagining myself in a picture that scrolls and documents sing.

2009-02-11T04:43:00.000-08:00

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I can't help it but be upset, sad and angry these days. It's a whole different chemical reaction in there. Definately highly pressurised in a confined space. I can't help it but to put the blame on myself if something goes wrong in there. Can't deny that i am a perfectionist when it comes to work. I feel that we can always go beyond where you think you can, its all in the mind. But then again, undesirable things that co-exist within the environment are just beyond a person's control. Im feeling agonised and pathetic, i need to do something to pull myself out of this emotional turmoil. Emo! Emo!

In the meanwhile, i'll drown myself in books i borrowed from the library randomly just now. And perhaps walk alone into the cinema to watch thecuriouscase of benjaminbuttton and valkyrie. Have not tried going to cinemas alone but maybe this time around, i just might. N take the Route No.4 trail hike at Bukit timah nature reserve. N wipe off the thick dust off my guitars and make a song.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse..

When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

2009-02-07T03:44:00.000-08:00

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I was supposed to be off by 2pm just now but the systems' gone haywired today. Can't process discharges. Can't check prescriptions with the online inpatient medical records. Can't generate labels. So we had it to be done manually. As in hand write the drugnames and instructions on the labels. Well i find it FUN though and suprisingly i didnt FRET about having to stay back while majority get to go off. That's good right? Not everyone have a big wide smile on their faces for the jobs they do. It can be that they like the job but it pays miserably. Or they loathe the job to the core although it's well paying. To think about it, im contented with my job, alhamdulilah. I was off by 4pm-ish and felt normal. Cause there's no reason to be upset. My satellite is becoming an influx of different genres of people. One siberian. A few filipinos. One English. One Indian. Many Melayuss. A couple of Cinas. It's a whole lot of different tongues and skins.

"O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another.." (Al-Hujraat Chpt 49, Verse 13)

Live in harmony!

2009-02-01T06:24:00.000-08:00

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Who Is poor ?

One day the Prophet asked his dear companions whether they knew who was poor. They answered that poor was one who had no dirham or dinar (money) He said:“In my Ummah, the poor is that man who would appear on the Day of the Judgment before Allah; he had offered prayer; he had paid Zakat ; he had observed fast; but he would have abused somebody, he would have falsely accused some one; he would have unauthorisedly taken some one else's property; he would have murdered some one; would have hit some body. All his virtues would be given to his victims. If his virtues are finished before his wicked deeds are finished, then the errors and sins of the victims would be given to him and he would be thrown into the Hell.” HR Muslim

The Prophet has explained by quoting an example. He said that the best moral character melts errors like water and bad morals spoil man's record as vinegar spoils honey.

Bottomline: Switch to eat, breathe and sleep GOOD permanently. Disable and eliminate the BAD permanently. Why ruin it when you can actually contain and control your actions and perceptions. My challenge for this week: Patience and to smile more at times of crisis. Heh.

Allah's Messenger has nicely explained it that when faith is firm and belief is strong, then strong and lasting moral will be developed, and if the moral character is low then faith will accordingly be weak. The grande things i've learnt today.

2009-01-31T05:10:00.000-08:00

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"Seorang muslimah dilahirkan ke dunia ibarat sebutir permata,
Apabila digilap akan memancarkan kilaun cahaya,
Apabila diletak di tempat mulia akan disanjung sebagai permaisuri,
Apabila dibekal dengan ilmu di dada akan menjadi cendekiawan bistari,
Seorang muslimah akan dikenang sebagai suri sang jejaka,
Menjadi ibu kepada puteri dan putera,
Dan menjadi pertiwi seisi buana."

Taken from a book written by sitinorbahyahmahamood

Currently reading a book in which i came across some points under the chapter of "wanita dan perkahwinan". Okeh actually i kindaf skipped a couple of chapters and landed on that.

Ciri-ciri suami yg baik (that's according to the book, in which i'll summarise)
1. Mampu menjadi ketua keluarga yg baik
2. Taat kpd perintah agama
3. Tdk bertindak melulu dlm urusan rumah tangga
4. Respects both sides of family
5. Akhlak terpuji
6. Berprinsip dan mempunyai matlamat hidup jelas
7. Responsible
8. Loving

Okeh calculating. :P

2009-01-27T04:17:00.000-08:00

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I just got to know that lada bulat is actually capsicum. I was like - reallly? Lada bulat pun tak tau! Tau makan aje! At least today ada improvement sikit okay? I did sibuk2 in the kitchen while my mom was cooking spagetti. So, yes, i did learn something - Priceless.

Ubin II with my explorer companion, intan. A random suggestion, but was all good, nature-l fun. The sea breeze, the beautiful bluish-green of the seawater, the soft sun - subhanAllah. It was abit too crowded and sometimes err.. noisy with different kinds of people. We went on foot this time around as we're jean-ing but we didnt really walked the whole island. I would lurve to do that one day and explore. And anyway, its too crowded to cycle. The gerhana bulan was actually the same day, but we didnt witness it. Or perhaps didnt even notice it. :p Ubin III soon to come inshallah.

Lee's voice is always paling the feeling in BLUE.

2009-01-25T04:10:00.000-08:00

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Spain aka Andalusia. Kerajaan Islam di bumi Eropah berkuasa selama 800 tahun. That was long. Bayangkan pada masa itu umat Islam ‘menghidupkan’ Sepanyol(Spain) dan menjadikannya bangsa yg bertamadun, berbanding bangsa lain di Eropah. Tapi sekarang, kegemilangnya seperti tidak pernah wujud di negara itu. It's really odd to have one of the world's greatest history almost wiped off from the history archives.

Sebenarnya musuh Islam dan umatnya tetap satu. Dari dulu hingga sekarang musuh Islam tetap ada, cuma ia berbeza orang dan jenteranya. Mereka tetap ingin melenyapkan Islam sedapat mungkin dengan apa juga cara. Dgn mengambil contoh Andalus yg hilang dan mencari sebab kehilangannya termasuk kelemahan akidah dan terlepas daripada jalur yg lurus, permusuhan sesama sendiri, berpihak kpd bukan Islam, kesenangan yg tidak terkawal dan kecintaan terhadap dunia, tidak mustahil ia juga akan berlaku di mana-mana.

Look at today. If only each and every one of us bermuhasabah dan berfikiran lebih matang dalam mengatasai krisis dunia ataupun masalah seharian, inshallah dapat melahirkan solution yang terbaik. And bring back the kegemilangan Islam di bumi ini. Ponder this.

2009-01-18T05:18:00.000-08:00

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Ponder. It’s awkward to find a distance growing further between the people you used to be very close with. Even when you try to be like before, you don’t seem to be able to connect well. It’s as if you’ve been re-wired entirely to a different setting. Almost felt that you’re going solo at this point and the next. Like you’ve walked out and never look back. Faux pas is what you felt when you engaged. Question is, why. Disappointment perhaps? a need to, move on?

Missed class and skipped the stamina regime. Physically drained. I felt that all I need is sleep. Contradicting too, as I sleep most of my traveling time. Even if I don’t feel like sleeping I still prefer to shut my eyes than to be staring to the other side. It’s harder to duck piercing stares or glances especially if it’s meant for you. I always wished the seating alignment and direction is similar to European style trains where its two to three seater facing the driver. Doesn’t need to be cushioned seats or large seats.

Feel like inhaling some sea breeze this week.

2009-01-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

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"Mascara bleeds a blackened tear, oh"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qII2RBVcEKQ

2009-01-11T06:33:00.000-08:00

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Heard this like one and a half years back.
For everyone!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyzsuJEavAM

2009-01-11T03:56:00.001-08:00

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I have to agree with the ustaz that there's no better method for a peaceful demonstration than to solat sunat hajat for the people of Palestine. Why not a prayer that goes straight to the langit than a demonstration in the streets and heat and all. Shukran Intan for asking me to one. I sure did benefit from that, hamdanlilah. It was heartfelt. I wished i understood more arabic in order to feel for the dua's.

By now, most people would have already known what has been going on THERE. You don't have to be glued to the MEDIA to know the TRUTH. What media is there when the propagation is controlled. Does the news coverage cover the reality of the grounds? What TRUTH is there when almost all are fitnahs and lies. Do YOU really think you can brainwash the world. Control the world? Dang you're not God to begin with. Coldblood killing spree of CIVILIANs? Building of nuclear weapons not a big HOO HAA for I s ra el only? Censorship of the truth by J I D F claiming to protect antisemitism and terrorism? Zionist, down you go.

"The Israeli bombs can tear the bodies of Palestinian children, women, and men into pieces. They can bring buildings and entire towns to the ground. But they cannot change the hearts and souls of the faithful. The Palestinians are a faithful people; they will survive this war too." Commentary by a Palestinian, Samah Jabr lecturer at Bir Zeit University at islamonline.net

"Among the believers are men who have been true to their covenant with Allâh [i.e. they have gone out for Jihâd (holy fighting), and showed not their backs to the disbelievers], of them some have fulfilled their obligations (i.e. have been martyred), and some of them are still waiting, but they have never changed [i.e.they never proved treacherous to their covenant which they concluded with Allâh] in the least" (Al-Ahzab 33:22)

"That Allâh may reward the men of truth for their truth (i.e. for their patience at the accomplishment of that which they covenanted with Allâh), and punish the hypocrites if He wills or accept their repentance by turning to them (in Mercy). Verily, Allâh is Oft¬Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Al-Ahzab 33:23)

2008-12-30T04:47:00.000-08:00

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1430H. Alhamdulilah. I'm here, to this date.

Look up to motivate, look down to appreciate. Words of wisdom by teacher.

As time goes by, you start to realise that you're not the same person you thought you were before. Some jokes don't tickle you anymore. You find time is critical. You learn to cherish yourself and the people around you even more. Your heart is now more open and healed. You've felt strong connections with certain people. Sometimes you feel like you're just being too careful. You've somehow guessed the reason as to where you stand right now.

My next sequel, to be continued.

Recently watched the "alam kubur documentary" with intan @night in a dim room and real strong winds blowing. Sets me thinking that ultimately: Nothing lasts forever. But, diamonds. Random!!

Ok seriously. I've gotta find the balance. Perhaps abit more weight to the ukhrawi side? InsyaAllah.

2008-12-21T03:31:00.000-08:00

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"About three things i was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him - and i didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thristed for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." - S te phe n ie M e y e r

T w i l i g h t.

The FEVER. I'm caught in it. Currently reading the first series, T w i l i g h t after i've watched the movie with Ayu. Found out that there are five series in all. It's like the Harry P o t t e r craze once again, only that of course the P o t t e r s are still in my top list. Tetap fan!

The movie was draggy and fast at the wrong time, and confusing as i felt that, sections of the story didn't quite blend well to the next part. The thing that impressed me, was the chemistry between Edward C u l l e n and B e l l a in the movie. ~Sigh~ That is what i call romance. It still has created quite an impression on me. The soundtrack, especially the baroque guitar fits the mood.

Also felt that the acting and slight modification to the storyline was a job well done as i find that the actual structure of the book was less interesting. It's like... can't be compared to how J.K R o w l i n g's style of writing. Sorry to say. Heez.. I love Edward's hairstyle and lips in the movie. Kk dah melencong jauuuh.

2008-12-15T05:23:00.000-08:00

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The best form of Jihad is a man who fights against himself and his desire. -HR Abu Dharr

I've been seated here for more than an hour, yet I can't find the rhythm to blog. So, that's all folks!

2008-12-10T04:52:00.000-08:00

Do you see what I see?

2008-12-09T03:44:00.000-08:00

One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs;
Or the thousand splendid suns that hid behind her walls -
An extract of a poem by Saib-e Tabriz, in Khaleed Hosseini's novel, A thousand spl endid Suns.

A really good book, that can make your eyes water and your heart feel for Laila, Mariam and Aziza. Good book for both men and women. And yes, I've recently completed reading it after a few hours not budging from my bed just to flip the pages.

New make up for my blog. Still figuring out how to get rid of the white "pho to bucket" strip on the left.

There's so much that one can do when one is not working. Duuh. I feel very much accomplished today for my first full day of leave. I can clean up my room..other sections of the house...go shopping...meet some frens...update my blogskin...Nikmat sungguh! Alhamdulilah...

Charging my energies...will be back in full vibes on Friday inshallah.

2008-12-02T04:07:00.000-08:00

Found that piece of reminder while i was brwosing thru the many files in my HD. Hmms.

I was 70% soaked in pure rainwater that kept on tearing down in tampines. I thought the rain would turn to a drizzle so I hung aroung in CS, window shopping. I can take the bus home, but i prefer walking home coz its faster and err healthier to walk. 6.30pm. The rain was still pouring like before. So that was it. I walked out in the heavy rain home looking fashionable, with a big black plastic sheet over my head that i kept in my bag dinosaur months ago. There's this big fatttt rodent or rat that i always see scrurrying in the wee mornings everytime i walk to the mrt to get to work. Anyway, i saw her again. Well im positive it's a she. She jumped out from a hole about half a metre where i was walking in motion, and i nearly dropped my black plastic sheet. I entirely froze in the rain likewise the rat. And it dropped its tiny one in the wet wet grass. It looks fresh. Coz its still reddish and hairless. And she didnt pick it back up and just fled for her life.

Oh baby.

2008-11-23T04:31:00.000-08:00

Woman was made from the rib of man,
She was not created from his head to top him,
Nor from his feet to be stepped upon,
She was made from his side to be close to him,
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
Near his heart to be loved by him.

Random postings. I've been feeling lousy these days. This desolate sentiment.

Have some goals structured in my mind. InsyaAllah to accomplish them in three years time.

2008-11-19T04:05:00.000-08:00

My head feels like "flying" right now, and i feel like puking still. Nope, fatino, its not your driving that's causing my motion sickness. =) Somehow this song just makes me feel abit less nauseated.

I'll be working 8.30am 12 days straight starting from this monday. There goes my precious weekends. Looking forward for december. Holiday. Holiday. Everyone. Loves. Holiday.

"I am a little bit of loneliness,

a little bit of disregard

Handful of complaints, but I can help the fact,

that everybody can see these scars

What I want you to want,

what I want you to feel

But it's like no matter what I do,

I can't convince you, to just believe this is real"

2008-11-11T04:10:00.000-08:00

I was so jagged that i slept on the shoulder(s) of the person(s) sitting beside me in the train. Of course it was unconscious. Reallly. And i kept waking up in a trance and snoozing back until i reached bedok station.

I should be hitting back at my notes which is untouchable right beside me now. I still have 2 more chapters to go. O&G and Genitourinarry, and c a ncer & cheemoo. Looking fwrd to 2nd week of dec for my long awaiting leaveeeee. I hope that i can get a bright green light from boss.

It's feeling chilly.

And i feel like going for a holiday.

2008-11-03T06:21:00.000-08:00

Disturbiaaaa.

Need to have a short getaway. Will plan to plot a few days off in december. Everyone loves holidays. A moment to peace out.

This is where ive been so far since march 2008: preparing the discharge drugs / inpatient ward drugs / topping up ward stock / typist of the day / lectures and exams on introductory pharmacy stuff / collecting drug stock from the bigger pharmacies..etc - That's the basic workload. These days there is quite a high number of patients discharging and more admits too. I don't know how they contain so much people here, - but they do. ive got more duties handed over, insyaAllah coping and adapting with the other workload plus the fact that sometimes i have to cover ICU when someone does a *disappearing* act. Wallahualam..

Kesabaran ku dicabar.

Lately I've been feeling like this:

Please remain to help me remind my remaining self this:

"...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allâh knows but you do not know." Chpt 2: Al Baqarah Verse 216

Just need to be more sabaaaar, altho the situation may be demoralising and demotivating. Oh well...life's like that.

Looking forward for the weekends! Altho its just monday today. ...

And yes Intan, your also definately one of my favourite people on Earth. ;)

2008-11-02T05:26:00.000-08:00

i learnt something.

it doesnt matter how much in cents and dollars it's worth.

what matters most is.

____

2008-10-25T07:06:00.000-07:00

I need a new adventure. Perhaps a long work-free week in a lonely planet. For the passion of a traveller. But how and when would i ever reach that goal. Going alone out of Singapore is totally out of question. A definate no-no from my parents. Going with a close friend whom my parents trust? Not sure too. So i guess it's just, with my family.

Since i can't accomplish that goal of mine now, I'll just be burying myself in a list of books that i wanna read.

I've received my very first item from online shopping ytd, and i would say, it's not too bad to do your shopping online. Eliminates the tired soles of walking from shop-to-shop, hot weather that leaves you all sweaty and a migrane. Check this webby out: http://www.missykirei.com/ good stuff and service.

2008-10-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

hereee we g o again.

love the mood of james blunt's 1973.

I always have a load of thoughts, but when it comes to here,

im lost for words.

it's not like before, where i can just pour out the words like water. it seemed that the water has solidified, like a concrete block of ice, perfectly matrixed in the space of thoughts.

i don't know how and where to start.

2008-09-18T06:57:00.000-07:00

I know i have to fight off this thing.

YOU do not scare me, nor will you scare my family line and loved ones.

BOO.

"Ya Allah, Rabb langit (yg tujuh), Rabb bumi, Rabb 'Arsy yg agung, Rabb kami dan Rabb segala sesuatu, Pembelah biji dan benih, Yang menurunkan Taurat, Injil dan Al Furqan (Al Quran), aku berlindung kpdMu dr kejahatan segala sesuatu yg Engkau pegang ubun-ubunnya. Ya Allah, Engkau-lah yang paling pertama, tidak ada sesuatu pun sebelum Mu, Engkau adalah yang paling akhir, tidak ada sesuatu pun setelahMu. Engaku lah yang zahir, tidak ada sesuatu pun yang mengungguliMu,dan Engkau lah yang bathin, tidak ada sesuatu pun yg tersembunyi dariMu, lunasilah hutang kami dan cukupkanlah kami dr kefakiran(kemiskinan)"

HR Muslim dr Abu Hurairah

2008-09-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks mi for sharing this article. Topic hangat, a must read. Makes me ponder upon myself...
To a good long fren of mine, may the book inspire and entertain your heart, like how it inspired me.

CINTA ILAHI

"Cukuplah sudah aku dipermainkan selama ini...
Cintaku kini hanya untuk Ilahi...
Bukan untuk mana-mana lelaki!”, ungkap seorang siswi yang putus cinta.

“Cinta manusia adalah palsu belaka. Cinta Allah, itu yang utama”, kata seorang yang lain.

Termenung saya membaca ungkapan-ungkapan seperti ini. Semakin banyak kedengaran di dalam lirik-lirik nasyid. Semakin banyak kelihatan di blog tempat orang muda meluahkan kekecewaan. Fahamkah mereka dengan apa yang mereka ungkapkan?

Cinta Ilahi?
Tiada lagi cinta lelaki?
Wanita gila harta?
Hanya Allah sahaja yang "setia"?

Apakah ada konflik antara cinta Allah, cinta lelaki, dan cinta perempuan?

Cinta hanya satu. Pilih sama ada buayafriend mahu jatuh hati kepada gelifriend, atau menyerahkan cintanya hanya kepada yang Esa? Saya tidak suka orang bermain dengan kata-kata. Jika sudah kecewa dengan si dia, tiada lagi cinta kepada penggantinya?!

BERTAPA?

Habis, mahu ke mana? Ke puncak gunung bertapa seperti rahib? Enggan berumahtangga kerana mahu mendedikasikan diri kepada Dia dan bukan dia? Fikiran apa ini? Islamkah yang mengajar kita berfikir begitu?

Tidakkah kita sudah dinasihati tentang kisah segelintir sahabat yang tersilap memahami cara melihat Ibadah Nabi SAW yang begitu sederhana?

“Sesungguhnya salah seorang daripada sekumpulan sahabat Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam telah berkata, “Berkenaan dengan diriku, maka aku akan berpuasa dan tidak berbuka.
Berkata seorang yang lain: Aku akan berQiyam di malam hari dan tidak akan tidur.
Dan berkata lagi seorang yang lain: Aku pula, aku tidak akan mengahwini perempuan.
Seorang lagi berkata: Aku pula, sekali-kali aku tidak akan memakan daging.
Lalu Baginda Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam bangun dan berucap, lantas Baginda berkata,
“Apa halnya dengan pemuda-pemuda yang setiap seorang mereka ini berkata begini begitu? Aku sendiri berpuasa dan berbuka, bangun malam dan aku juga seorang yang mengahwini perempuan juga aku memakan daging. Barangsiapa yang tidak ingin kepada Sunnahku maka dia bukan dari kalangan (pengikut)ku” (Dari Sunan al-Nasaa’ie, no. 3217)

Janganlah bermain-main dengan kata-kata yang kosong dari makna, jauh sekali dari yakin dan percaya. Belajarlah untuk menyelami makna dan menyebut perkara yang kita jelas tahu akan makna dan maksudnya.Ungkapan cinta Ilahi bukan ungkapan yang kosong, jauh sekali abstrak dan penuh misteri.Cinta Ilahi bukan inspirasi untuk mengungkapkan syair-syair yang bertepek di sana sini di blog siswa siswi.

Jangan cuba menjadi Rabiatul Adawiyah.

Tidak perlu memakai kasutnya. Rabiatul Adawiyah itu insan yang tersendiri.Bagi kita di sini, bercintalah dengan Allah secara realiti. CINTA ILAHI ADA CARANYA Tidak pernahkah kita merenung ingatan dari Allah sendiri terhadap orang yang mendakwa mereka itu cinta kepada-Nya?

“Katakanlah: Jika sesungguhnya kamu itu mencintai Allah maka ikutlah aku, nescaya kamu juga akan dikasihi oleh Allah, dan akan diampun-Nya kesalahanmu. Dan Allah itu Tuhan yang Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang” (Ali Imraan 3: 31)

Jika cintakan Allah, contohilah Rasulullah SAW. Hiduplah macam Rasulullah, buatlah kerja macam Rasulullah. Sibukkan diri dengan belajar dan mengajar, berdakwah dan memberi peringatan, membela agama dan bekerja untuk ummah, sibukkan diri dengan segala kebajikan demi cinta kita kepada-Nya.

Berhentilah berpuisi, andai puisi itu datang dari sebuah khayalan tentang cinta Ilahi sambil memicit jerawat di tingkap pagi. Jika mahu mengungkapkan Cinta pada madah dan kata, luahkan ia dari rohani dan jasmani yang bekerja untuk kekasih-Nya. Hiasilah blog kalian dengan catatan amal dan muhasabah diri, bukan retorik dan angan-angan terhadap CINTA ILAHI.

ABU SAIF

2008-09-11T05:38:00.001-07:00

Walking down my home lane

I had a thought all to myself

“You have a voice, don’t lose it.
You have a choice, so choose it.
You’re in a mess, embrace it.

You have a tool, so fix it.

Bad things gone good
Good things gone bad

I am, the re-offender.

2008-08-25T10:49:00.000-07:00

1:49 AM. Still not aslp, due to my eye irritation. The kind of feeling that there's a tiny weeny speck of dust but u just don't see it. It's been a long time since i last blogged.

I had just experienced a coroners' case just a few minutes before my knock off time. Upon the patient's death, the nurse called up to come down immediately to the ward to bill the ward charges. 17:45. Sad case. Perhaps a cardiac complication looking at the various injections he was jabbed. Underlying cause: i don't know. As much as i want to know, it might be related to some unnatural/mysterious death, or related to a crime scene, or a convict. Officers stood by to retrieve back all necessary documents as i quickly charged the patient. Ephedrine and adrenaline wiped out just for this patient. His relatives wept and slowly made their way to the exit. They had to leave him. Sedih.

My pharmacist alerted me about another patient from the same ward who seemed to not be able to pull through. I just can't forget the look in the person's eye whenever i happen to pass by the bed. Feels...eerie.

5 more days to go. I'll be back to the general wards insyaAllah bulan ramadhan. yey!

2008-08-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

And so my training at SP2 (Satellite Pharmacy 2) which handles the 6 ICU wards started on the 1st Aug. It's been two and a half days of training with Kak Ju - alot of grey matters and alot of things to absorb, expectations to accomplish. A different setting compared to the general wards as the patients are mostly on intravenous drips and injections. So the ward stock is the opposite in other sense. And it has really, really a few times more drugs than the general ward stock. Probably intentional to avoid YOU, being caught up with supplies request...with the fact that there's only 2 pharmacists and one pharm. asst. or pharm tech there, you wouldnt want to be caught up with nurses request for drugs while your in the middle of pushing ur truck load full of IVs trolley. It's all, verbal order there. As i was browsing through the patient's med charts, bill dia......fuhyooooo. So need to be extra awake and meticulous when billing. That reminds me, i need to stock up my candy in my coat pocket.

Ooh! And for the first time, i entered a Neonatal ward - newborn babies who are given intensive care due to premature cases...and others cases. Rasanye kesian with the tubes running here and there to the petite body, and at the same time, naturally, they are cute.

Looking forward on Monday.

Extremely. Excited.

2008-07-27T05:41:00.000-07:00

My next novel I will be indulging myself into: Syahadah Cinta - Taufiqurrahman al-Azizy. Can't wait! Dah amik que number nih. All off the sudden, sejak baca buku AAC, minat membaca novel melayu/indon dah datang kembali. Hmm.. Specifically books yg ade unsur-unsur keislaman yang dapat memberi motivasi to the readers to be better Muslims. And the kind of book that makes you ponder and reflect about yourself. I guess it is much easier to connect with the vibes as its written in the islamic worldview. Lebih baik baca buku macam tu kan.. dari baca novel yang mendendangkan kisah cinta..cinta..cinta.....tapi tak berlandasan with the islamic paradigm.

I'm hooked by the melody of Bersama Bintang.

2008-07-22T14:38:00.000-07:00

5.45am. 15mins to go before I get ready to work. Sempat blog! I've been feeling drained out at the start of the week. Perhaps due to the over production of adrenaline for the previous week because of ISO roundings over at my hospital. Now that's over, I'm in the low end of the curve. Need an adrenaline booster. ...Chocolates?

There's alot of things parking at the back of my mind which needs attention. But where, when and how will i find a suitable time? Everyday is a mad rush. Except my sundays. By the time you step home, you feel so drained out. All you can think of after the last solat of the day is rest and nothing else. Then again, time doesnt find you, you find time. Nak kena usaha. Gotta keep this in mind. There's a time for everything yes?

6.am. Good morning people.

2008-07-12T15:50:00.000-07:00

It takes great discipline to tame the tongue. The very part of the human body that can make, or break. Bottomline, beneficial, talk. Not beneficial, just shut up and drive - as per intan. ;) Ethics in Islam teaches you to think before you utter even a word

An ahli tassawwuf, Abu al-Qasim al Qushairi once said: Diam yang tepat pada waktunya adalah sifat orang-orang besar, dan berkata pada waktunya adalah perkara yang sangat mulia.

Ada seorang berkata kepada temannya; Kenapa saudara selalu diam? Jawabnya: Aku diam kerap kali menyesal kerana berkata, tetapi aku tidak pernah menyesal kerana diam.

Rasulullah s.a.w mengajar supaya seorang yang beriman selalu mengawasi perkataannya dan membiasakan diamnya kalau diam itu ada faedahnya. Tetapi kalau diam itu bukan pada tempatnya, maka sudah tentu dicela. Diam seperti itu ialah diam dari mengatakan yang hak dan menegur suatu yang salah. Dan orang yang diam seperti inilah dikatakan syaitan yang kelu.

Great isn't it. The lethal weapon of the human body. Lethal. You are of what you eat. You are of what you speak. Can i than say that speech defines you?

Alhamdulilah, sampai le hasrat to go down to ECP last 2 weeks ago. Expressway??

East Coast Park..

Siap dengan beg rattan, psp, styrofoam cooler box, plastic mat, 1 big bag of potato chips. The part i most enjoyed was munching away the goooooood food khai and nad ta-pow-ed from the eateries. Dinner by the beach, non-hassle, peaceful, non-smoky, sun setting, great love and company. Let's do this again!

Where to next?

2008-07-01T05:27:00.000-07:00

Siapakah orang yang sibuk? Orang yang sibuk adalah orang yang tidak mengambil berat akan waktu solatnya seolah-olah ia mempunyai kerajaan seperti kerajaan Nabi Sulaiman a.s

Siapakah orang yang manis senyumnya? Orang yang mempunyai senyuman yang manis adalah orang yang ditimpa musibah lalu dia kata 'Inna lillahi wainna illaihi rajiuun.' Lalu sambil berkata,'Ya Rabbi Aku redha dengan ketentuanMu ini', sambil mengukir senyuman.

Siapakah orang yang kaya? Orang yang kaya adalah orang yang bersyukur dengan apa yang ada dan tidak lupa akan kenikmatan dunia yang sementara ini.

Siapakah orang yang miskin? Orang yang miskin adalah orang tidak puas dengan nikmat yang ada sentiasa menumpuk-numpukkan harta.

Siapakah orang yang rugi? Orang yang rugi adalah orang yang sudah sampai usia pertengahan namun masih berat untuk melakukan ibadat dan amal-amal kebaikan.

Siapakah orang yang paling cantik? Orang yang paling cantik adalah orang yang mempunyai akhlak yang baik.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yang paling luas? Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang paling luas adalah orang yang mati membawa amal-amal kebaikan di mana kuburnya akan di perluaskan saujana mata memandang.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yang sempit lagi dihimpit? Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang sempit adalah orang yang mati tidak membawa amal-amal kebaikkan lalu kuburnya menghimpitnya.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai akal? Orang yang mempunyai akal adalah orang-orang yang menghuni syurga kelak kerana telah mengunakan akal sewaktu di dunia untuk menghindari siksa neraka.

ubin island pics starring intan and annafeir: as promised to khai...but not exactly in my very next post. :P i was thinking of Bukit Timah hike for the next adrenaline pumping activity, insyaAllah. How gerls? Heheh.

2008-06-29T01:24:00.000-07:00

Finally got my very own mini-chipboard mounted onto my bare cream wall to help myself get organised. A 2-month printable calendar, a map of my long and short term goals(mounted soon), my to-do and to-buy list, prayer-timing, a hadith that says "Bekerja dan berusahalah kamu untuk mencari keduniaanmu, seolah-olah engkau akan hidup buat selama-lamanya. Bekerja dan berusahalah pula untuk akhiratmu, seolah-olah engkau akan mati pada hari esoknya."-HR Ibnu 'Assakir, plus a panorama of a beach in cape town(mounted soon) during its winter season.

I'm through with the 2 papers since last two weeks, alhamdulilah. Up next is my CA1 exams - work related, but feels like school again. I don't mind tho, since i have to admit that i love my current job, alhamdulilah. It's like every minute of my time at work, you can be helping a sick person to be well again, with His permission. A great reminder for me to feel really thankful that i am still well and able at the moment to not indulge in wasteful moments, but to chase beneficial ones.

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: "Rebutlah lima perkara sebelum datangnya lima perkara; iaitu masa mudamu sebelum tibanya masa tuamu, waktu engkau masih sihat sebelum engkau jatuh sakit, selagi engkau memiliki kekayaan sebelum engkau menjadi miskin, selagi engkau mempunyai banyak waktu yang terluang sebelum tibanya waktu kesibukkan, & selagi engkau masih hidup sebelum tibanya masa kematianmu." - Riwayat Al Baihaqi, Ibnu Abiddunya & Ibnu Mubarak

It's been a pressurising and draining week. Looking forward to my off-day...

2008-06-17T05:16:00.000-07:00

The perfect escape. Intan! Let's do this again and again! Okeh, this is what i loike. It's not just "..i'm okeh.." you know.

Work starts tmr...

YAY.?

Let's do this. Bring it on.

2008-06-14T05:50:00.000-07:00

have you ever felt that home is the best place to be on Earth
have you ever felt that your family is the best bunch
have you ever felt that the bestest friend is one who really understands the you in you
have you ever felt if you have really understood your friends
have you ever felt that there are things that are awaiting to be unfolded
have you ever felt that death imminent, and your lifespan is depleting, every second
have you ever felt life is,life,with its real purpose, with its realistic elements to attain the purpose
have you ever felt like shutting your eyes forever while awaiting your destination in a train
have you ever felt like ditching your work & go out there to really do something
have you ever felt like boarding a plane of a one-way ticket to a lonely planet
have you ever felt more at ease when in solitude
have you ever felt very disorientated that you don't know what you're doing

random questions.

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: "Rebutlah lima perkara sebelum datangnya lima perkara; iaitu masa mudamu sebelum tibanya masa tuamu, waktu engkau masih sihat sebelum engkau jatuh sakit, selagi engkau memiliki kekayaan sebelum engkau menjadi miskin, selagi engkau mempunyai banyak waktu yang terluang sebelum tibanya waktu kesibukkan, & selagi engkau masih hidup sebelum tibanya masa kematianmu." - Riwayat Al Baihaqi, Ibnu Abiddunya & Ibnu Mubarak

2008-06-10T05:32:00.000-07:00

"Bekerja dan berusahalah kamu untuk mencari keduniaanmu, seolah-olah engkau akan hidup selama-lamanya. Bekerja dan berusahalah pula untuk akhiratmu, seolah-olah engkau akan mati pada hari esoknya." - Riwayat Ibnu 'Asaakir

A few more days to my anticipated "long" break. Perhaps a day or two getting lost in a different environment, or maybe just slacking at home.

I was on my way home with my collegue, Jas and Kak Is. As usual, everything is in a rush. Initially we thought of taking the shuttle bus but the que was snake-eesh, so we dumped the idea and rushed to the public bustop which way back at the main building side. Walking briskly towards the bustop, Jas spotted the bus crawling over at NUS side and so, we all started charging to the bustop - from our location which i think was still very far out. We managed to get on board, heavily breathing and, laughing. While standing, Kak Is was looking over me, and sudddenly her facial expression changed. "There's SOMETHING on Jannah's tudung." I slumberly asked them what was on my head...and was a worm. Ulat gonggong? Probably dropped on my head for a ride while i was cruising my way to the catch the bus. I didn't know why, i still was feeling ok. Not going hysterical, alhamdulilah. Masih maintain. And Kak Is and Jas were the ones who were excited over it. So Jas bravely took out the worm off my tudung with a tissue, and Kak Is suggested to..pinch it. Jas was hesitant to do it, so a swift hand of Kak Is's came by - and pinched the tissue with the worm. Unfortunately, the tissue didnt cover the worm entirely. So the juices were..."dispersed at high speeds at the point of pressure". And poor poorrr Jas, had her face with the atomized worm juice.

2008-06-01T03:58:00.000-07:00

My days passing by is like a surfer catching "The Wave" like the surfer-laydee in Blue Crush.

If you want to feel the rush, you have to take the risk.

Catch the wave, when its coming. That's how i describe it. Everything is fast, FAST, fast. Walk fast. Move fast. Talk fast. React fast. Eat fast. Catch the train fast. Then suddenly, comes a non-working day. It's like im not doing things right if im going too slooow. And i'll feel pretty much disorientated.

The teacher's lecture on fri was very enriching & entertaining. It's amazing i didn't get knocked out asleep in class after a day's work. It's scary to think how people today are easily made, the "victims of specialisation" in our gooood education system. How some fail to see that all fields of study ultimately is link-able to one another, flawlessly.. How the word "liberalisation" and "democratization" actually, has a degrading nature today. And how we have lost our prudence over time.

2008-05-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

xenophobia [(zen-uh-foh-bee-uh, zee-nuh-foh-bee-uh)]

An unreasonable fear, distrust, or hatred of strangers, foreigners, or anything perceived as foreign or different.

I was reading an article online ytd when i came across that word. And i've been wondering, doesn't everyone in this and, the previous era have xenophobic expressions? Although an almost limited percentage as like that of an atom in comparison to a person's body, you're still a xenophobic. Human nature? You see something, someone you're entirely clueless about. You start to have an imaginary dotted line drawn between you and the subject. Personally i think it is, human nature. To feel xeno: strange around a stranger. Suddenly, a quirk of the lips forming a smile which connects to the smiler's eye...and that breaks the barriers. The wonders of a smile.

I was reading, and i can't help it, but share this. Citing some lines from The Ideal Muslimah by Dr Muhammad 'Ali al-Hashimi:

"... The Prophet s.a.w never disappointed anyone who came to ask from him. There are three characteristics that he did not posess: he was not argumentative, he did ot talk too much, and he did not concern himeslf with matters that were not his business.

There are three things that he never did to people: he never criticised anyone, he never said "Shame on you!" to anyone, and he never looked for anyone's faults. He never said anything but that for which he hoped to earn reward. When he spoke, the people around him would listen earnestly, sitting still as if there were birds on their heads. When he was silent, then they would speak. They never argued with one another in his presence.

They would smile at whatever he smiled at, and would be impressed by whatever impressed him....He never accepted praise except from someone who was thanking him for a favour, and he never cut short anyone who was speaking; he would wait untl the person indicated that he had finished, or stood up. ..."

simple ethics instilled throughout a person goes a gooood long way.

I've gotta gear up my stamina for this month. So much to do, so little time.

2008-05-11T04:46:00.000-07:00

AAC is finally released in Singapore. I've not yet watched it, and I'm still reading the novel. Not an easy task especially if its not in paperback form. heheh.

Every year, we dedicate a special day for a very special woman in our lives, our mother, ummi, ibu, mak, mama.

Why not dedicate to this wonderful woman a special moment everyday.

Happy mother's day.

Pimpinlah tangan ibu semasa ibu boleh berjalan bersama-sama;
Renunglah mata ibu semasa ibu boleh melihatmu;
Berbuallah dengan ibu semasa ibu masih boleh mendengar;
Berilah ucap sayang kepada ibu semasa ibu masih boleh memahaminya;
Buat semua Ibu, Selamat Haru Ibu.

Diriwayatkan, seseorang telah bertemu Rasulullah S.A.W dan bertanya,
"Wahai Rasulullah siapa yang berhak mendapat layanan baik dariku ?" Rasulullah menjawab, "Ibumu." (dan diulang sebanyak tiga kali kemudian ayahmu, kemudian saudara-saudara terdekatmu.)

Ma, I love you, you know i do. :)

2008-05-04T10:34:00.000-07:00

Udah jam 1.34am, namun aku ngak bisa melelapkan mata! Waduhh... Sungguh deras pemikiran ku di saat ini.

I realised something tday in class. Manusia, tetap manusia. No matter who you are, or how perfect your life background can be, you can't deny that you tend to venture into thoughts that seems unusual or a taboo to the society. We're not a Maksom like Rasulullah, but that doesn't give us a reason not try-hard-enuf to perfect our imperfections. A reminder for myself.

They say, Actions speaks louder than words. In the case of today's presentation with Intan, i guess its: written words speaks louder than actions? Maybe someones gotta update the idiom section for today's generation. Heh.

2008-04-27T05:48:00.000-07:00

Author: by Na'ima B. Robert

I wake before dawn.
No muadhin calls me,
No footsteps stir me,
Instead society spurns me,
Labels me and burns me.
But everyday,
I wake before dawn.

I wear my hijab.
No father threatens me,
No religious police warn me,
Instead society judges me
Mocks me and shuns me.
But everyday,
I wear my hijab.

I rear my children.
No family pressures me,
No work barriers limit me,
Instead society shames me,
Names me and blames me.
But everyday,
I rear my children.

I follow the Sunnah.
No culture defines me,
No history holds me,
Instead, society scolds me,
Re-makes and moulds me.
But every day,
I follow the Sunnah.

I strive for Paradise.
No teachers indoctrinate me,
No worldly hardships sedate me,
Instead society rejects me,
Tempts me and affects me.
But every day,
I strive for Paradise.

I worship my Lord.
No imam compels me,
No rules force my heart,
Instead, society fears me,
And dares not come near me.
But every day,
I worship my Lord.

Every day,In every way,
Through hardship and strife
And the all-consuming,
O so fleeting,
Bitter sweetness of life,
I worship my Lord.

2008-04-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

I have come to conclude this after a month-plus-old in the secular-working-world.

Le Chatelier's Principle.

Everything has to be in the state of equilibria sooner or later. With changes in concentration(fokus!! fokuss! don't take it to the hartt), pressure(blood boiling) or temperature(it's suddenly too hot heree.) a dynamic equlibrium has to achieved ultimately. The position of equilibrium will move in such a way as to counteract the change.

Why can't we all be nice, helpful and smiley people when working.

Makes life sweeter and meaningful, yes?

2008-04-13T00:06:00.000-07:00

Home sweet home. Just had my power nap part two after a night of thrilling adventure. Night Cycling! It was awesome. Seriously, seriously, seriouuusly fantastic. Alhamdulilah, everything went well.

An event i will never forget.

Its endurance, 5-senses, sweat and fatigue, butt and leg cramps, semangot and essentially, the essence of faith while going though the journey from Ghufran to Pasir Ris to Changi (OCH area, chalet, and da beach) and to East Coast. The last lap was kerazee as the route was the longest empty stretch of path that urges everyone to cycle like a pro racer. Ceh~ Made new frens too! Fida, Shahidah, Farhanah, Sharifah and Woofy. Great team.

Although my dear fren, intan couldn't make it at the very last moment, i was STILL all out for this. "For you, a thousand times over!" :P i've snapped timeless memories that i found the most inspiring. Witnessing sunrise in the state of muhasabah @east coast beach, while the Ustaz was preaching after prayers. Sempat seh amik gmbrr.

Subhanallah. A beautiful, brand new day, of which only Him can make this possible.

Special thanks to Ami for the invite to this event. =)

2008-04-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

Things i want to do when i get home.

1. think about the program, get mentally prepared for june.
2. take a snapshot of the alien-medicine-terms and "save" it into my mind
3. blog my heart out
4. organise my sets of junks
5. get lost in a book

Time doesn't wait. I got to get started. ...Tmr la. Procrastinator!

2008-03-31T06:03:00.000-07:00

Isn't the woman there my sister?
In Islam, I mean to say
For I just took my shahadah
at the masjid here today

Isn't the woman there my sister?
I openly ask without any qualms
The one who just walked past me
Without offering me her salaams

Isn't the woman there my sister?
Though she stands alone to pray
Each time I move to touch her shoulder
She takes a step and pulls away

Isn't the woman there my sister?
the lady that is not of my race,
for both of us are muslim women
with varied hues making up our face

Isn't the woman there my sister?
Who laughed and made fun of me
And those other sisters of mine who listened
Doesn't their silence make them also guilty

Isn't the woman there my sister?
Who didn't call me when I was sick
For she seems to only show concern
for those special sisters,
in her own click

Isn't the woman there my sister?
Who I invited for iftar in my home
But unfortunately she did not make it
How I wish she had bothered to phone

Isn't the woman there my sister?
Don't we both love our religion - this Deen?
Then why am I sharing my lament
About her being uncaring, indifferent and mean?

Isn't the woman there my sister?
Won't she open up and try to treasure
The love I want and need to share with her
As we both seek Allah's Merciful Pleasure

by Mahasin Shamsiddeen

just by reading this, it makes me guilty. :P
tonnes to reflect, about time to react.

2008-03-30T07:46:00.000-07:00

Stock take duty today was...bumpy? With the full force of all 5a pharmacy PAs, PTs and a few pharmacist, its easy to get your head bumped/foot stepped on by someone or something which magically appear beside/behind you. Our pharmacy is also quite small, unlike the retail pharmcay at level 1. We had to manually count all the drugs in our pharmacy while our senior pharmacy techs scan the figures and process the results. That's not the end, we still have to pack drugs for discharges today. Since i wasn't rostered for today's sunday duty, i was let off at 12.30noon. Alhamdulilah! Wee~ Was quite fun today. We were provided with heavy breakfast: kway teow and lunch:nasi ayam..FOC tau. Rezeki...

I have a deadly weakness for shoes. I don't know how many different kinds of shoes of mine existed in that shoe compartment. Need to curb this desire. :P

"Orang yg bahagia itu akan selalu
menyediakn waktu untuk mmbaca kerana membaca itu sumber hikmah,
menyediakan waktu tertawa kerana tertawa itu muziknya jiwa,
menyediakan waktu untuk berfikir kerana berfikir itu pokok kemajuan,
menyediakan waktu untuk beramal kerana beramal itu pangkal kejayaan,
menyediakan waktu untuk bersenda kerana bersenda itu akan membuat muda selalu & menyediakan waktu beribadat kerana beribadat itu adalah ibu dari segala ketenangn jiwa"

2008-03-29T09:09:00.000-07:00

just got back home an hour ago from ayu's 21st bdae chalet. thks for the invite gerl! i've never seen a family/friends gathering that supportive for a bdae. ;)

I have been wondering lately why it is so difficult for me to translate my thoughts into words. It seems so perfect in thought but you find yourself blurting without sequence and proper phrasing when in speech. wire tak connect ke? but it's been quite frequent since late last year. Does this got to do with any big shock encountered in a person's life. hmms.

i shud be in deep slp now. Besok keje!! and i wud be missing class and the weekly dose of teh with intan!!! :'( Okay gooodnite la. Salams.

2008-03-16T05:42:00.000-07:00

Buat pembaca sekalian..

"Tolong sampaikan pada si dia…
Tolong beritahu si dia aku ada pesanan buatnya..
Tolong beritahu si dia, cinta agung adalah cintaNya..
Tolong beritahu si dia, cinta manusia bakal membuatnya alpa..

Tolong nasihati si dia, jangan menyintaiku lebih dari dia menyintai Yang Maha Esa..
Tolong nasihati si dia, jangan mengingatiku lebih dari dia mengingati Yang Maha Kuasa..
Tolong nasihati si dia, jangan mendoakanku lebih dari dia mendoakan ibu bapanya..

Tolong katakan pada si dia, dahulukan Allah kerana di situ ada syurga..
Tolong katakan pada si dia, dahulukan ibu bapanya kerana di telapak itu syurganya..

Tolong ingatkan si dia. Aku terpikat kerana imannya bukan rupa..
Tolong ingatkan si dia. Aku lebih cintakan zuhudnya bukan harta..
Tolong ingatkan si dia aku kasihinya kerana santunnya..

Tolong tegur si dia, bila dia mula mengagungkan cinta manusia..
Tolong tegur si dia, bila dia tenggelam dalam angan-angannya..
Tolong tegur si dia, andai nafsu mengawal fikirannya..

Tolong sedarkan si dia. Aku milik Yang Maha Esa..
Tolong sedarkan si dia. Aku masih milik keluarga..
Tolong sedarkan si dia, tanggungjawabnya besar kepada keluarganya..

Tolong sabarkan si dia, usah ucap cinta di kala cita-cita belum terlaksana..
Tolong sabarkan si dia, andai diri ini enggan dirapati kerana menjaga batasan cinta..
Tolong sabarkan si dia, bila jarak menjadi penyebab bertambah rindunya..

Tolong pesan padanya. Aku tidak mahu menjadi fitnah besar kepadanya..
Tolong pesan padanya. Aku tak mahu menjadi punca kegagalannya..
Tolong pesan padanya aku membiarkan Yang Esa menjaga dirinya..

Tolong khabarkan pada si dia. Aku tidak mahu melekakan dia..
Tolong khabarkan pada si dia. Aku mahu dia berjaya dalam impian dan cita-citanya..
Tolong khabarkan pada si dia, jadilah penyokong dalam kejayaanku..

Tolong sampaikan pada si dia. Aku mendambakan cinta suci yang terjaga..
Tolong sampaikan pada si dia, cinta kerana Allah tidak ternilai harganya..
Tolong sampaikan pada si dia, hubungan ini terjaga selagi dia menjaga hubungan dengan Yang Maha Kuasa..
Tolong sampaikan kepada si dia kerana aku tidak mampu memberitahunya sendiri...

Hanya engkau Ya Allah mengetahui siapa si dia..
Moga pesananku sampai padanya walau aku sendiri tidak mengetahui siapa dan dimana si dia..
Moga dia seekor lebah yang sentiasa memuji keagungan Yang Maha Kuasa memasuki taman larangan dengan sopan santunnya dan bertemu mawar berduri yang terjaga oleh tuannya..

Simpanlah pesanan ku ini sehingga engkau bertemu diriku suatu hari nanti.."

-Shared by a Delicate lady-friend with an msn nick of, Imam Al-Haafdiz Ibnu Haajar Al-'Asqolaanee.

Renungilah.

2008-03-08T04:41:00.001-08:00

Today, was my first day of action at work. Yes, it's a b-e-a-u-tiful Saturday - and I'm working. Adapt anna! The pharmacy i'm attached to: inpatient ward is pretty busy just like the other pharmacies in the hospital, but the good point is that the team doesn't need to be in the frontline of handling customers. It's like pack and go. Pharmacy Asst., Pharmacy Techs prepare the prescriptions, and then hand over to the pharmacists. Tablets, suppositories, parenterals...u name it. It's all there. A medicine-haven? Heh. Fortunately no smell. :) I used to think that hospitals have this particular ubat smell.

I had a hard time locating the prescriptions as I wasn't familiar. Learnt how to use a machine that intelligently counts for you the tablets. Works the same way as an analytical balance tho. My newly found filipino friend, Vince mentioned that the peak periods where the team goes kerazee packing r from 10am to 2pm. My legs were showing signs of resistance for standing from 10am to 1pm...3 hrs je. Weak ahh anna. Wonder how I'm gonna survive 7.5 hrs/day standing. My first aim for the first month is to learn as many things as I can swallow and digest. And do things with precision and accuracy. InsyaAllah.

Oh! And a newly found friend Bevi, whom i met during orientation showed me a prayer room which was called the "Quiet Room". Alhamdulilah. She was sooo kind and patient to show me all the possible areas in which the workers pray. Alhamdulilah, Thankful to have met her.

2008-03-04T05:41:00.000-08:00

"When there is only one choice, there's only one solution. With only one solution, there's limited success." - David Meier.

Ponder.

Well, that's what he says. Couldn't that one choice bring many other possible solutions as well, and hence the ultimate success?

Just one of the little mic-talks that perked me up throughout todays' orientation at **** hospital. Confidential lah... don't wanna mention the hospital im working at. Heh. :P

Everything's going fine, alhamdulilah. Have not started getting my shoes dirty at the moment. Still in the orientation week. One problem. A place to solat. I've not really find a suitable place to pray, as everywhere is bombarded by mobile people, people mobilised by ward beds, wheel chairs etc. Even the place i prayed this afternoon ( in which i thought had scarcely anyone) was actually used by some. But i continued my prayers anyway. Susah nak khusyuk knowing that the place you r praying might be a passage way for others. Cobaan. Any suggestions people?

I've not gone for my jab. Hepatitis B vaccination. I was so confident that I need not take that jab as my past medical records stated that I had that jab before. Boo-hoo..! Its 3 jabs mind you. The idea of something piercing your tender skin, and something going in your blood vessel while blood is drawn out at the same time ain't painting a good picture on my mind. I think i'm gonna delay my vaccination till next 2 weeks when i finally get a hang of the basic work scope.

K. Sleeping. Salam (Peace) !

2008-02-26T06:27:00.000-08:00

I'm back reading Micheal Scofield's mind - Prison Break Season 2. Now that Micheal and his crew have succeeded in breaking out, they'll have to erase their names from the most-wanted list and start anew. "..It gets tough before it gets easy.." - Lincoln Burrows. Just loike the way everything blends into each other. Exceedingly clever, triggers you to think of the conclusion. Do try Digital Fortress and Deception Point by Dan Brown if you find this amusing.

Look Ma! I'm Flyiiing!

2008-02-18T06:38:00.001-08:00

All I've been wanting to do is to write. So blogging as I write; the unreadable lines that lay within the encapsulated thoughts; be read. Between opened and closed doors. I need to free it - filtered, and at intervals.

My semangat - nearly dead when it comes to weekdays, 0800 h to 1730h. Some will understand what I'm talking about. I feel that i'm in a trance, minds shut, eyes open, body working like a robot.

Like a puppet with strings pulled thin,
No words to speak but
A voice deep within.
One tone of expression,
Judge not, my audience.
Judge not.

Thankful for the situation I am, despite all the mundane-ness and et'cet-tra, I accept this. For we should all remember,

"...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." (Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 216)

With the abundance of rezeki - opportunities that lies ahead, insyaAllah with the imminent commencement of my new job, i hope it will be most suited and best for me. And most importantly, something that I'll love doing, not JUST a job that pays the bills.

Movies that I wanna watch all over again and again.
1. Pride and Prejudice (starring Keira Knightley)
2. The Message (1976)

Movies that I want to just watch.
3. Aaja Nachale
4. Savariya

2008-02-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

Restless.

Restless.

I feel like packing my haversack and walking out of the school right now. But of course, I don't have the guts to do that. And that would be ethically and religiously wrong in terms of amanah. Control!!! Hardly have any work on hand since i'm leaving by the end of the month. Little errands here and there tho. Been entertaining myself sitting in front of this laptop. To add on to my restless-ness, i think I'm building up a headache. And i'm not touching any paracetamols.

I just found out that I might be lactose-intolerant. It fits the symptoms i read over a few webbies in the world wide web! Only that, I diagnosed myself with that. Shouldn't be a problem i hope since I'm not quite a fanatic of cheesy yummies.

Okeh. Finding other things to keep myself entertained to the end of the day. Toodles.